Caged Bird
by Hikari Kaitou
Summary: Officer Kurogane felt sorry for the guy in the cell. He looked like a caged bird whose wings had been clipped. But the state police weren't kidding when they said Fai needed to be watched closely. AU KxF Oneshot


**A/N: **Wow; inspired by the Andy Griffith Show! XD My mum's been obsessed with it lately and she's always wanting me to watch it with her. For anyone who doesn't know the show, don't worry; there aren't any cameos from it in here and you don't need to have seen the show to understand this fic. For anyone who does know the show, maybe you'll be able to guess which episode inspired me. Enjoy!

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**Caged Bird**

Kurogane hung up the phone, grumbling sullenly under his breath. Here it was, a Friday night, and he had been really looking forward to getting the hell out of here for the weekend and then fate pulled shit like this on him. He really didn't understand why the state police had to bring the criminal here to be held. His city's jail wasn't all that great; there wasn't much to it--only two rooms and two cells. Besides, the state police had their own damn jail. Honestly, sometimes Kurogane wondered why he had ever decided to become a police officer in the first place, even if he was the head of the department. Being head of the department in this little spit of a town wasn't all that special; the whole department consisted of two people, one of which was himself.

Aside from wondering why the hell he had ever decided to become a police officer, he was also wondering why he had gotten stuck with what had to be the most useless deputy in the history of the world. She was much too young and much too soft to be of any help. If a law-breaker could manage to summon some tears and promise never to commit the crime again, the stupid girl would feel sorry for them and let the bastards off the hook. He had talked to her about it countless times and she always promised to do better next time but when that next time actually arrived, she would make the same exact mistake all over again. Stupid Sakura.

The prisoner that was being brought in to be placed under their care for the night had been arrested for stealing jewelry. When the state police had told him over the phone that the convict was a slippery character who needed to be watched closely, Kurogane had rolled his eyes. What was the guy gonna do? Snatch his pearls while he wasn't looking? But the state police, as if sensing his dubiousness, informed him that although he may doubt the criminal's potential to cause any trouble when he was already going to be locked up, the prisoner must be kept under constant surveillance during his stay at their jail. Kurogane had suppressed a groan here with difficulty. Basically what these bastards were trying to say was that either he or his lame-ass deputy was going to have to stick around overnight to baby sit.

Kurogane had a serious date with a manga magazine and a bottle of sake planned for that night already and had no intention of breaking it so that he could stick around this stinking hellhole to watch some dumb ass prisoner lie on the cot and pick his nose. Sakura was definitely going to be the one to get stuck with this assignment. He told her so soon after he got off the phone and she had nervously accepted. Then she asked him if he would mind waiting while she ran down to the gas station to get herself some coffee, just in case the prisoner arrived while she was out. He had grudgingly agreed and plopped back down in his chair, putting his feet up on his desk.

Sakura had been gone perhaps three minutes when the door to the station opened and two state police officers accompanying a third person, presumably the prisoner, who was handcuffed, entered. Kurogane had returned their greeting halfheartedly, glancing over the three visitors with disinterest. But when he saw the prisoner, he had to do a double-take. Kurogane could have sworn that the officer he had spoken to on the phone had said that the prisoner was a man but the person who was being led into the cell had fair, perfect skin, a slender build, golden hair that reached almost shoulder length and walked with far too much grace and poise to be male. Plus, the person stood with their hips jutted out; what self-respecting man did that?

The two state officers wished Kurogane luck as they left him and the prisoner alone. He watched as the thief lied down on the cot on their stomach, propping their chin up on their hands and surveying him with playful interest. Kurogane stared back absent-mindedly, trying to figure out just what the hell he was looking at. Whatever this person was, male or female, they were freaking beautiful.

"Will I be spending the night in this lovely little jail alone," the thief asked in a voice that was a decent bit higher than Kurogane's, but still distinctly male, "or will I have company?"

"You sure as hell aren't gonna be alone," Kurogane replied, quickly looking away and trying to seem indifferent. "State cops said you're a slippery bastard."

The thief grinned lazily and rolled over onto his back. "Will _you_ be joining me?"

"You want me to?" Kurogane asked, not thinking. _Aw, shit. _

The prisoner laughed airily. "What's my other option?"

"Sorry it took me so long, Kurogane san," Sakura said breathlessly, re-entering the building at that precise moment. "I misplaced my money, so when I went to pay for my coffee…"

She froze as she laid eyes on the prisoner. "Is this…the prisoner…?"

The prisoner smiled and shrugged. "I asked Mr. Black over there to trade with me but he wouldn't do it."

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Oh, you want to know my name? How nice! No police officer has ever asked me my name before!"

"Look, are you gonna tell her or are you just gonna dance around the question all night like a dumb ass?" Kurogane asked impatiently.

"Mr. Black wants to know too, hmm? Officers here are such sweeties. I'm Fai."

"I'm not Mr. Black!" Kurogane snapped. "It's Kurogane!"

"And I'm Sakura."

"Lovely! Now we're all friends! I think I'm going to like it here," Fai sighed dreamily. "Kuropu, I'd like a soda, please. Extra ice. Make it quick."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A FREAKING RESORT?! I'M NOT YOUR DAMN DELIVERY BOY!!" he roared.

But Sakura discredited this claim by trotting over to Fai, a glass of soda with extra ice in her extended hand. He took it from her, kissing the back of her hand lightly in thanks. She giggled and blushed slightly. Kurogane cracked his knuckles and growled slightly. Admittedly, however, if he had been the only one here and Fai had given him just a little more persuasion, he probably would have brought it to him as well. Why did that stupid guy have to be so damn beautiful? Kurogane shook himself when he realized that he was staring at Fai, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

"You seem like such a kind person, Fai san," Sakura gushed. "What are you doing in prison?"

"I was framed for jewel robbery," Fai sniffled, wiping fake tears away. "But no matter how I tried to tell them I was innocent, they just wouldn't listen."

"Oh, that's terrible!" she gasped. "I'll talk to them for you. Maybe I can help."

"That's very sweet of you, Sakura chan, but I'm afraid not even the pleas of a lovely young lady such as yourself would reach the cold hearts of the state police officers," he sighed hopelessly, taking a sip of his drink.

"Well, I'm going to try," she said resolutely. "It's not fair that you should be put in jail when you haven't even done anything wrong."

Kurogane snorted doubtfully. If this guy was innocent, he'd eat Sakura's shorts. Besides, his stupid deputy didn't deserve any rewards for being a push over. Why should she get to be the one to keep watch over this gorgeous creature?

"What are you snorting about over there, Kurotan?" Fai asked amusedly. "Do you have something you'd like to contribute to the conversation?"

"…Yeah," Kurogane decided. He got to his feet and folded his arms, glaring sternly at Sakura. "You're going home, princess. I'd better be the one to keep an eye on this bastard."

"Oh no, Kurogane san!" Sakura insisted. "You don't have to do that! I'm fine with staying here with Fai san!"

"That's what I'm worried about," he growled. "If I leave you two alone, he'll talk you into releasing him within five minutes. What kind of officer would I be if I just shrugged that off and went home?"

With that, he crossed the room in three large strides and hustled the still protesting young deputy out the door. Then he turned his scowl on Fai.

"Guess you figured me out, huh?" Fai grinned apologetically. "Kuropon is pretty sharp, I guess."

"Please," Kurogane grunted, rolling his eyes. "You couldn't have been more obvious if you'd put up a flashing sign."

"Well, now that Sakura chan isn't here, I suppose it's just you and me, huh, Kurochuu," he sighed, flopping back down on his cot and taking another drink of his soda. "I get the feeling that there are other reasons for you getting rid of Sakura chan besides your not wanting her to let me free."

Kurogane turned away, blushing, and pretended to suddenly be very interested in some wanted posters that were tacked up on the bulletin board. "What other reason could there possibly be?"

Fai smiled knowingly. "…I can't imagine…"

"I do have some paperwork to finish so… you'd better keep quiet," Kurogane warned.

"Whatever you say, Kurowanwan."

He now had no choice but to do paperwork. Silently cursing himself, Kurogane dug out a sheaf of papers and a pen and began filling them out. Fai, now with no one to entertain him, sat up, set his glass down and turned his attention to the concrete wall before him. Kurogane glanced slyly up at him. Fai was still breathtakingly beautiful, though now that his mind wasn't occupied by conversation, he looked a little sad and lonely. He was like a caged bird whose wings had been clipped.

"See something you like, Kurochan?" Fai asked sweetly.

Kurogane realized with a start that he had been staring and quickly averted his gaze.

"Yeah, right," he muttered.

"Could you possibly bring me an extra blanket? It's a tad chilly in here."

Glaring, Kurogane got up from his desk and stomped off to the back room to retrieve another blanket. He poked it between the bars for him but Fai simply let it fall to the ground.

"DON'T ASK FOR SOMETHING IF YOU DON'T EVEN WANT IT, YOU BASTARD!!" Kurogane snapped.

"Would you tuck me in, Kurochan?" Fai asked from the cot, tilting his head back so that he could smile up at him.

"You think I'm stupid?" Kurogane snarled. "If I open this door, you'll make a run for it. Besides, that'd be weird. I don't even know you."

"I won't run," the blond promised. "I just…would like some company."

Eyes narrowed suspiciously, Kurogane unlocked the door, opened it just wide enough so that he could squeeze through and shut it quickly behind him. He sat down on the wooden chair across from the cot Fai was lying on. Fai sat up and leaned forward, reaching into Kurogane's shirt pocket.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kurogane asked.

"Looking for something to play with," he replied innocently. To his chagrin, all he found in the officer's pocket was a pen. "Don't you have anything more interesting than this?"

"Well, what the hell did you expect? I don't carry a freaking Nintendo in my pocket."

Fai sighed. "I suppose we can have some fun with this. Do you have any paper?"

Kurogane reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small spiral notebook. He flipped though it to a blank page before handing it over to Fai. The prisoner took it, ripped out a sheet, ripped it so that it was a perfect square and began to fold it. Kurogane watched in silence. When Fai was finished, he had a weird little diamond-shaped thing. Then he used the pen to write inside it.

"Have you ever seen one of these before, Kurokuro?"

"No," Kurogane said truthfully.

"It's a fortune-teller. Here, pick one of these colors." Fai held the paper toy out for Kurogane to see. The officer grudgingly chose red, just to humor his prisoner.

Fai spelled out the word red, opening and closing the paper thing. "Now pick a number."

Kurogane picked five. Fai counted to five, opening and closing the paper thing just as he had before, and then held it out again so that he could choose another number. Kurogane chose two. Fai opened up the toy and lifted the flap with the two on it.

"Your fortune is… you will a stranger in the near future with blond hair and blue eyes. You will fall instantly in love, despite not knowing the person very well. When the stranger asks you to tuck him in, you will receive a special surprise."

"What the hell?" Kurogane growled, blushing. "There's no way that little thing says all that!"

Fai leaned forward again and snatched Kurogane's policeman hat, placing it delicately on his own head. "I'm sorry if you don't like it, Kurowanta, but that's what it says. Kurogane grabbed the fortune-teller away from him and looked at the fortune he had chosen.

"It doesn't say any of that crap! It says..."

_You're a big silly doggy._

"…YOU BASTARD!! JUST WAIT TILL I CATCH YOU!! I'LL WRING YOUR SCRAWNY NECK!!"

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Kurogane chased Fai all around that stupid cell but somehow, even though it wasn't more than six by eight in size, didn't manage to catch the skinny blond. He was disturbingly quick and flexible and to tell the truth, Kurogane was a little weirded out by it. It was as though Fai were the human form of Flubber, or something. Finally, Fai got tired of their chasing game and settled back down on the cot.

"Daddy? Will you… tuck me in now?"

Still breathing hard, Kurogane picked the blanket up off the floor, shook it out to its full size and tossed it peevishly at Fai.

"Now, Kuromyuu," Fai scolded lightly, "that's not how you tuck someone in. Don't you remember from how your mommy used to do it?"

Kurogane's eyes glazed over in spite of himself as he felt around in the dark recesses of his memory for some recollection of how his mother used to tuck him in before she died.

Without saying a word, Kurogane spread the blanket over Fai's slender body, then smoothed his bangs aside and gently kissed his forehead. He began to draw away but Fai put a hand on his cheek to stop him. The blond propped himself up on his elbows and slowly, shyly, grazed Kurogane's lips with his. The officer accepted the kiss, deepening it and allowing his prisoner to pull him down on the cot beside him. Fai climbed on top of Kurogane and put his arms around his waist. Kurogane thought nothing of this at first and even the jingling didn't tip him off. It wasn't until Fai jumped off of him and was already halfway out the cell door that he realized what was going on.

"HEY!!" he raged, reaching the door just as Fai was slamming it shut.

"I'm sorry, Kuromin," Fai said sincerely. "I really do like you. I just…wasn't meant to be kept in a cage, you know?"

"GET BACK OVER HERE AND LET ME THE HELL OUT, YOU BASTARD!!"

"No can do, Kuropu. Can't have you putting me back in, now, can I?"

Suddenly the station door opened.

"I'm sorry to be bothering you Kurogane san, but I realized that I forgot my—"

Sakura stopped, her eyes wide as she took in the scene before her. Fai was standing in the middle of the room, twirling the key ring around his finger and Kurogane was locked in the cell, grasping the bars and looking extremely pissed.

"Ku-Kurogane san…What--?"

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE!! GRAB HIM!!" Kurogane shouted.

Sakura approached Fai carefully, bracing herself to dash after him if he made a run for it. Fai, however, didn't move a muscle.

"Please, Fai san… Let Kurogane san out. Please?" she asked tearfully.

Fai looked sympathetically down at her, noticed that she was trembling out of fear that he would try to hurt her, and let out a small sigh of resignation.

"Of course, my princess."

She smiled, clasping his hand in both of hers. "Thank you."

Fai smiled back at her, though his smile was tinged with regret, and unlocked the cell to let Kurogane out. Kurogane stomped out, grabbed Fai by his scruff and deposited him roughly into the cell, slamming the door behind him.

"Kurogane san… if you decided to watch Fai san tonight because you were worried I'd let him go, then how did you get locked up and Fai san get free?" Sakura asked.

Kurogane blushed. "Er…well…th-that's because…"

Sakura sighed and shook her head. Then she took his hands in hers as she had Fai's. "Maybe we'd both better stay here tonight, ok?"

Something about the tone of her voice made Kurogane want to punch her in the nose.

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**A/N:** Hmm… that ending was…ugh, never mind. 


End file.
